Dealing with 'the thing': A prelude to change

By Walt F.J. Goodridge

Special to the Saipan Tribune
Originally published: Wednesday, July 30, 2008


The only way to take control of your life, raise your standard of living and move beyond merely surviving is to create your own unique product or service that you offer to increasing numbers of people in exchange for the things of value that you desire. This simple formula applies to countries as well as people. A self-sufficient economy has its own products or services of value to export to the world. Similarly, a self-sufficient individual has something of value to exchange in the global marketplace. That thing of value is based on your natural talent, skill, or interest—in other words, your passion!


One of the most profound thoughts I’ve ever heard is this: The only way to control someone is to lie to them. People cannot be controlled by the truth.

Think about that in all its applications and permutations and the depth of the concept will astound you. If someone is controlling you, it’s because there is a lie at work. People who feel controlled have bought into, accepted and are living a lie that has been sold to them.

If you, as a person in power, wish to control the masses, you can only do it through deception. Truth, by its very nature is freeing, liberating, and empowering. Truth frees those who offer it, and empowers those who receive it. It becomes more and more difficult to control someone the more empowered with truth they become. Leaders know this.

Similarly, a relationship built on lies is a relationship with control as its goal. A relationship where someone feels controlled is one based on lies.

If you somehow feel disempowered, without options, helpless, and at the mercy of others or outside forces, it is because you have bought into a deception of reality, of others and/or of yourself.

That lie is different for each of us. For many of us, it was an untruth that started back in our childhoods. I call it “the thing.”

You know what I’m referring to,
so don’t play coy with me
It’s written all across your life
quite plain to those who see

The thing you’ve long since justified
The thing you never did
The thing in you that’s long since died
The thing from us you hid

The thing you never talk about
The thing you’re scared to try
The thing you think no one can see
The thing you can’t ask why

That thing that makes them wink and nod
when talks of you arise
The thing that snuffed your childlike spark
and dimmed those light-filled eyes

The thing that others get from you
that pushes them away
The thing we know would make you smile
But sadly never say

The thing that always blocks your view
no matter how you climb
The thing you must now get beyond
to live while there’s still time

Each person has a different thing
they need to rise above
To live the life they’ve dared to dream
and leap from fear to love

And those of us who see patterns easily can grasp it in an instant. You think you do a good job of keeping it hidden. But it’s so obvious. And the evidence that speaks louder than anything else you say or do is simply that you’re living below your dreams—and you already know it.

It’s all connected, you see. You didn’t get here by chance. You didn’t arrive at this place randomly. It is the end result of a series of steps taken after the lie was accepted. In order to heal, therefore, you need to retrace that path. In life, you see, you heal a pain by going back along the path you took to get there. So, in order to return to the you you were before “the thing”—the lie—occurred, you’ll need to go back through it. Isolate it. Admit it. Accept it. Recognize it’s power over you. Then, don’t be afraid to look it squarely in the eye, as you get beyond it, and say goodbye.

This is dedicated to all who struggle, but never quite get there, because they feel “the thing” coming again and again up to block their progress, and just don’t know how to get beyond it. Remember that the only way to control someone is to lie to them. And the only way to be controlled is to accept that lie. A person is never controlled by truth, only lies. So start to dissolve the control this thing has on your life by admitting it, talking about it, and allowing yourself to acknowledge and feel the effects of its truth in your life. The only way to improve things is to deal squarely with the deception. It is the prelude to change.

Note: For more tips on overcoming your fears, acting on your ideas, changing the game, and creating a passion-centered lifestyle, visit www.passionprofit.com!

Note: There’s a new blog in town! Check out www.blacksonsaipan.com


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Until next week, remember, success is a journey, not a destination!




Walt F.J. Goodridge is author of over two dozen books including Turn Your Passion Into Profit. Walt offers coaching and workshops to help people pursue and profit from their passions. Originally from the island of Jamaica, Walt has grown several businesses in the US, and now makes his home here on Saipan. To learn more about the Saipanpreneur Project and Walt’s philosophy and formula visit www.saipanpreneur.com and www.passionprofit.com)